Unwritten

Another year older. Another year wiser. Isn’t that how it goes? I celebrated a birthday just under two months ago. I’m certainly one year older. And presumably a little wiser. But maybe it’s less about my age and more about the story. Do you ever sit and reflect on your previous days? Some you wish you could delete altogether? How about the ones that resulted in one mighty decision that brought you to where you are now. Good or bad. Yes. Our life is made of stories. Ones that cannot be unwritten. But for the most part, we have the power to tell them. And I hope to tell mine well.

It’s been just over a year since I set out on this venture to write for an audience. I’ve since acquired a couple freelance gigs and some sporadic contract work. I have a manuscript started because one day, I’ll publish a book. {At least that’s my goal}. But overall, I’m still struggling to identify my true purpose. The only advancement I think I’ve made is that I have realized I do have a purpose. But I’m still on the road to discovery. Thirty-six and fully aware the world doesn’t stop for anyone. So I’m ready to take another ride around the sun with a little more confidence than last. I’m finding more appreciation in the little victories. And slowly realizing that these grand A-HA moments aren’t necessarily going to happen. And perhaps that’s perfectly okay. My ongoing pursuit for the one amazing thing that’s supposed to send me soaring might be an endless journey. I’ve been so certain that God’s plans for me would be revealed in a more majestic way and I’m finding out that perhaps His plan is simply more modest. Why don’t I feel settled by this? How come I keep challenging Him? Because I just cannot believe that what I’m doing now is all I’m capable of. I’m a dreamer. A HUGE dreamer. And while I absolutely know the difference between dreams and reality, a part of me believes that those two can often merge. And that’s the quest that I’m still on.

My family is my number one priority. But amidst the balancing act of being a wife and mom, it’s still important to have an identity outside of those. Some days it’s hard to remember who I was before I had children or got married. And we all deserve to maintain a sense of self, even if we don’t always know what that is. I do believe my time to make a significant impact on someone or something will eventually arrive. Until then, I’ll keep filling up the pages to my story. Because even though life can’t be unwritten, it can definitely be inscribed.

 

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