I am silently hyperventilating. Reflecting on how we already got to this point. And wondering why it gets harder along the way. Isn’t parenting supposed to get easier the longer you do it? I mean, that’s how everything else in life works.
My oldest baby is off to middle school tomorrow. MIDDLE. SCHOOL. And I am undeniably reminded how each milestone just keeps stacking up quicker than I can recover from the last. Eighteen years are spent preparing our children to launch. And to launch, well. And while every single year is seemingly a feat (hello, toddlerhood), there are significant milestones that are a legitimate cause for emotion. Kindergarten. Middle School. High School. And finally the most dreaded of them all; College. The mere thought of that grand finale puts me in hot mess mode. So before I even lasso myself down that rodeo, I’m going to shamefully admit that I don’t want my kiddo to grow up anymore. Like, he could’ve stopped yesterday and I’d be okay. Alright…maybe that’s not entirely true. But on the days leading up to a little less of mom and a lot more of life, I am feeling the growing pains. Hard.
I know my young man is turning into a fine man. And my job is to ensure that remains steadfast until the roof over his head changes. But as each year passes I find myself asking if I did enough. Did I teach enough? Did I hug enough? Did I listen enough? Did I discipline enough? Did I support enough? And did I love enough??! I hope so. Because those days are gone and all I have are the shrinking ones ahead.
These are game changing moments. The ones that make you or break you. I’m counting on the make. But preparing for the break. Because puberty is next on the list. Elementary school came with essential lessons. We conquered those. Easy peasy. But this voyage onto Middle School? I’m mainly aiming for survival. With my white flag tucked securely in my back pocket, just in case. So stay tuned.
But for now, I’ve got this. Smeared mascara and all. Pomp and Circumstance, don’t come sounding yet. I still have a little more time. And a lot more love.